The Journey of Self-Perception: From Worst to Best

Self-perception is a highly personal journey, heavily influenced by our experiences and the perspectives that shape them. This journey can be as beautiful as a string of sunsets or as chaotic as a shattered mirror. Throughout my journey, I've encountered both the worst pictures of myself and the best. These images are more than memories; they are reflections of my life, my struggles, and my growth.

The Worst Pictures of Myself

As a former person experiencing homelessness, my worst pictures were often taken inadvertently by my friend, Vlad, a Russian college buddy, or by my own mother. Vlad had a talent or, perhaps more accurately, an anti-talent to highlight every flaw under the sun. Love handles, acne, shiny noses, bad hair days, and even a poorly-fitting brassiere—Vlad somehow managed to capture them all. Love handles on a cold, clammy stomach or a shiny nose in a face marred by exhaustion and malnourishment could be the subject of his photos. Anyone caught with a phone in Vlad's hand would immediately run or hide because there was usually no escaping his sharp eye.

My mother, on the other hand, was more candid, insisting on the "truth" in every snapshot. My headless photos from candid moments, crazily crooked ones, and blurry funhouse-like reflections were a testament to her unrelenting honesty.

The Best Pictures of Myself

Amidst the chaos and struggle, there were moments of grace and beauty that prompted me to take better care of myself—moments that allowed me to capture the essence of who I am. For instance, after getting jumped and being homeless for a year, my self-portraits in the last two years stand out as a significant transformation. A self-portrait taken by me, as a photographer, ignited a sense of self-appreciation that was previously lacking.

Comparing the Two

The self-portrait I took two years ago stands in stark contrast to my worst photos. In that picture, I didn't appear fat, and the bright sky contrasted with a lovely backdrop. The shadow on my eyes, while still present, did not detract from the overall image. My skin had a natural shade due to backlighting, and the alignment of my front teeth was not a problem. The flaws that remained were not highlighted, and the picture's result was mesmerizing.

Reflections and Insights

The journey from the worst to the best pictures is a testament to my growth and resilience. It teaches us that our self-image is constantly evolving, tied to our experiences and perspectives. A bad photo can be used as a learning tool to improve, but it can also be appreciated for its moment in time. The best photos are often those that capture authenticity and the beauty of the present moment.

It's true, you make a picture, but the result is what truly matters. These images are not just snapshots of time; they are mirrors that show us who we are and who we become. They remind us to cherish each moment and to strive for a self-image that reflects our growth and love for ourselves.