Navigating Judgmental Relatives During Your UPSC CSE Preparation

Introduction

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Preparing for the Civil Services Examination (CSE) through the Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) is a challenging yet rewarding journey. However, one often overlooked aspect of the preparation process is the impact of judgmental relatives. This article aims to guide you through strategies to handle such situations, ensuring that your journey remains undisturbed by unnecessary distractions.

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Identifying Judgemental Relatives

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First and foremost, it is essential to recognize the behavior of relatives who tend to judge your efforts. A common trait among such individuals is their tendency to celebrate success but dismiss or taunt failure. This mindset can significantly affect your morale and focus during the preparation phase.

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Handling Judgemental Relatives

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One effective strategy is to keep your preparation efforts private. Avoid sharing your progress and plans unless absolutely necessary. For instance, you can post a light-hearted song status on WhatsApp, such as 'Rishtedar BC', to signal your disinterest in judgmental comments. This way, you minimize the chances of engaging with those who may try to undermine your efforts.

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Another powerful technique is to ignore and downplay their questions or comments. For example, if a relative asks what you are doing, respond with a nonchalant answer that does not reveal your true pursuits. This can be a simple, yet effective, way to change the conversation and steer clear of their negative influence.

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Dealing with Real-Life Scenarios

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Consider the scenario where a relative is envious of your progress and asks about your plans. Instead of providing a detailed response, you could respond with a clever and humorous answer, as demonstrated: "ITUS kar raha hoon," which humorously translates to wearing a cap on your head, referencing a line from a famous Indian film. This approach can diffuse tension and shift the focus away from judgment.

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Experiencing Judgments During the Exam Period

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It is crucial to anticipate the potential judgments you may face during your preparation and beyond. Initially, most relatives may be supportive at the start, but as time progresses and your efforts yield no immediate results, they may start to criticize or even ostracize you.

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During my own preparation journey, I faced this exact scenario. I succeeded in the Mains on my first attempt, leading to increased attention and calls from relatives. However, after several unsuccessful interviews, these same relatives gradually stopped contacting me, seeking to avoid the stigma of failure associated with my name.

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Overcoming Relativistic Judgments

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At the heart of the matter, the most harmful form of judgment comes from loved ones. In my case, my family stood by me throughout the process, providing unwavering support. It is important to keep in mind that siblings, if any, and possibly parents do not judge as harshly as distant relatives or friends.

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To mitigate the impact of these judgments, focus on building a support system with close family members and peers who share your aspirations. Avoid sharing your preparations with those who have a history of judgmental behavior, and instead, concentrate on your studies and goals.

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Conclusion

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Preparing for the UPSC CSE is a personal journey that requires immense dedication and resilience. By understanding and addressing the challenges posed by judgmental relatives, you can navigate this process more smoothly and achieve your goals without unnecessary distractions. Remember, the key is to stay focused, maintain a positive mindset, and seek support from those who genuinely believe in your success.

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