Is Gender Selection Fair? Reflections on Expectations and Gender Bias in Family Planning

The desire for a 'perfect' family is a common one, but it often comes with unspoken expectations and gender biases that can lead to immoral and unethical practices.

Case Study: Gender Selection in a Marital Relationship

Mr. A's recent experience with gender selection in his relationship with his wife brings to light the complex emotions and societal pressures that can arise in such situations. Mr. A impregnated his wife for the fifth time, only to want to abort the pregnancy because the baby is a girl, with the intention of trying again for a son. This mentality not only disregards the rights and choices of the mother but also perpetuates harmful gender biases that should be challenged and changed.

Gender Bias and Its Impact

Gender bias is a pervasive issue in many societies, often leading to preferential treatment of males and less attention or support towards females. Historically, this has manifested in expectations of women to bear sons and daughters to carry on the family name. In Mr. A's case, his desire for a boy is rooted in this long-standing tradition of male preference.

Such gender biases can have severe psychological and emotional impacts on both the mother and the child. Mrs. A is put in a difficult position, having to navigate her husband's wishes and her own desires regarding the child. While Mr. A envisions a 'baby machine' that produces sons only, Mrs. A is clearly conflicted and has her own dignity and rights to consider.

Abortion and Responsibility

The ethical considerations around abortion are complex and multifaceted. If Mrs. A chooses to continue with the pregnancy, she should have the autonomy to do so without external pressure. If she decides to terminate the pregnancy, it is important for Mr. A to respect her decision and offer support rather than coercion.

Parents who choose to have children should be willing to embrace all gender identities and view their children as unique individuals, regardless of sex. It is crucial to recognize that girls are not less than boys and deserve the same love, care, and respect. Choosing to favor one gender over another can lead to gender roles and stereotypes that can negatively affect individuals in the long run.

Reflections on Family Dynamics

Reflecting on similar experiences, both Mr. A and Mrs. A can draw parallels to their own childhoods and family dynamics. Mr. A's father, Mr. A, desired a boy, and the pressure from his family led to five girls before a son. Similarly, Mrs. A grew up in an environment where boys were favored, and despite having two girls, her husband expected them to be athletic and succeed in sports, which they did not comply with.

These experiences highlight the lasting impact of societal expectations and gender biases. Even with good intentions, these biases can inadvertently influence and pressure parents. It is essential for individuals and families to recognize and challenge these biases to create a more equitable and loving environment for all children, regardless of their gender.

Conclusion

In summary, the pressure to gender-select children is deeply rooted in societal norms and expectations. Characters like Mr. A and Mrs. A need to reflect on their actions and understand that choosing between genders based on societal expectations is not only unfair but unethical. Instead, parents should strive to love and support their children unconditionally, fostering a nurturing environment where all children can thrive.